We hear it all of the time… women love bad boys, assholes, dicks, etc.

Nice guys get dumped and the jerks get laid. Why does this happen? Since when did the guys we always looked at as jerks, low lives, conceited pricks, etc. – become so desirable to women?

Well the simple fact is that it’s been around forever. Too many men buy into the idea that women want guys who fawn all over them, send them flowers, buy them candy and are the “Prince Charmings” of their childhood stories. The problem with that thinking is that those moves might work only AFTER a woman is initially turned on and attracted – not from the get go.

Most women need positive tension for the initial attraction, and that means drama (read any woman’s romance novel and you’ll discover the hero started out as a major dick but the woman eventually falls in love). If you get past the first 5 seconds of when a woman sees you (at which time she immediately knows if she’d have sex with you or a relationship – yes, they are smarter than us) it then becomes a matter of how much tension you pose to her. Even if you’re Brad Pitt hot she wants to know if she can possibly win you over and more importantly is it worthwhile?  If you’re a pushover from the start you’ll appear weak and needy.  A woman’s evolutionary need is to be protected and trust her man – it’s baked into her DNA.  If you’re weak and emotionally kiss her ass she doesn’t feel that trust and you become less attractive. Sad but true despite what movie romcoms tell us.

This is why the “asshole” guys (those who really don’t care of a woman likes them or not because they realize there are many more where she came from) give off a vibe of aloofness, leadership, loving themselves, thinking for themselves, not being dependent on a woman for emotional security. etc., etc. are sooooooo attractive. The may not literally be assholes or conceited, but their personality, i.e. their physical manner and actions around a woman screams strength.

It’s not rocket science fellas, but remember that the first 5 seconds is crucial, whatever that initial attraction may be (your looks, the way you walk, talk, smell, smile, etc.). If it’s not there you probably don’t have a shot past a possible friendship.

It’s not impossible, but honestly, it’ll take a lot more work and most times it’s just wasting time that can be spent on women who really want to be with you.